How can it be wrong when it feels so right?

So I sold my left leg on the black market in order to get the money to join Gold's Gym, and I am now a member. This means I now have access to all of the Gold's Gyms in the WORLD! And, I get a little scanning tag to put on my keychain. I don't know which I'm more excited about.

Because the guy I got the membership with "liked me" he decided to give me 4 free sessions with a personal trainer. By that, I'm sure he meant, "Because we're ripping you off and making you pay a ridiculous amount of money for your health's sake, I'll feel better if I give you something free. Also, maybe this way I won't die and burn in hell."

Oh well. Works for me. After all, the sessions cost $60 a pop. WHAAA? Thank goodness they are free. See, in the end, it's like THEY'RE paying ME to join the gym! Right?!? Right??? Sure.

So I have a new goal. To sleep with my personal trainer. I mean, you always hear about people sleeping with their personal trainers, so why can't I? Huh?? I told Karla about my goal and she asked if she could sleep with him too, so she could say, "I slept with my friend's personal trainer." I told her that was fine with me. So if anyone else needs to borrow him, let me know.

On a more serious note: yesterday I purchased an INCREDIBLY cute yellow picture frame with a little fish on top and the word "cat" on it. I can't wait to take a picture of Shadow and put it in my new frame! This leads me to a more realistic goal: find a job where I will have a desk so that I can decorate it with the frame and picture of Shadow.